Married adults now divorce two-and-a-half times as often as adults did 20 years ago and four times as often as they did 50 years ago… between 40% and 60% of new marriages will eventually end in divorce. The probability within… the first five years is 20%, and the probability of its ending within the first 10 years is 33%… Perhaps 25% of children ages 16 and under live with a stepparent. — Brian K. Williams, Stacy C. Sawyer, Carl M. Wahlstrom, Marriages, Families & Intimate Relationships, 2005
Have you jettisoned your relationship in the quest for your own goals and ambitions? If so, you are not alone!
Not only financial ramifications of a breakup or a divorce are severe, but emotional toll on the loved ones is equally devastating.
It’s been 25 years since the day I took vow to live life together with my wife. Like most married couples, we’ve had our sunny days filled with happiness and rainy days of setbacks together.
Tips to super charge your relationship
First and foremost step to a strong relationship is to develop selflessness. With selflessness, we learn to allow the voice of our partner to sink into our consciousness.
With selflessness, you develop altruistic inclination to do what’s in the best interest of your partner. Spend an hour a day to focus solely on the act of selflessness. Be empathetic by preparing a meal for your partner or by doing whatever that pleases your significant other.
I keep a diary to write everything that has come to fruition by the efforts of my wife. She takes care of my daughters. She prepares meals and she buys everything that my business needs daily. We have two beautiful, extremely intelligent young daughters who have learned the importance of character and values from my wife.
Write down the list of all the goodness that your alter ego has bestowed upon your life and revisit the list often to remain humble.
Spend time together
Allow an hour of your day to spend with your alter ego. As silly as it may sound, the compounding effect is invaluable. By spending time together walking or simply by talking about the day of your life, you create a value system that shares same passion and ideals for both of you. It also allows one another to understand and visualize the path of the future.
Try to spend time doing your “Wins and Realizations” where you share what you learned during the day and what you realized. When one person is sharing, the other person is not allowed to talk, listening only. It’s such a fulfilling time and a great space for mutual growth.
Remember “Why” and “What”
It’s easy to allow anger and despair to cloud your awareness when going gets tough. At the moment of intense mental noise, remember why you entered into this relationship and what inspired you to gravitate towards your partner.
These two little words can do wonders to insure your relationship in the moment of crisis. You’ll feel rejuvenation in the spur of the moment by reflecting on the core values of the relationship.
Have you ridden on the wheels that needed an alignment? If you ignore the problem, a chatter magnifies into a larger issue as time goes. Life is no different. When we are out of alignment with our life goals, our chatter manifests into a precipitous disaster down the road.
A relationship is a journey based on faith and love. It’s an odyssey that never ends. Life goals align your values and dreams to develop common goals that you both feel excited about.
Take a journal and start writing everything that comes to your consciousness. Ask your partner to freely express what he or she wants from the life. This beautiful, serene conversation becomes the foundation of a stronger relationship.
Write your motto as a family, your social values, your financial goals and your lifestyle goals. Do not resist. Allow expressions to flow. You’ll be amazed at the sheer power of expressions when you align your life goals.
Awareness controls our emotions. Emotions arise from the unconscious state of egotist thoughts. Awareness repels our ego and allows us to witness the moment of crisis in our relationship without any stereotypical interjection of defense. It develops a deep consciousness to cultivate the truth with absolute clarity.
Often when we argue, we feel defensive. We interject thoughts that are poignant. This behavior becomes habit to the point that our emotional noise holds our consciousness hostage to ruin our relationship.
If both of you develop awareness to witness the moment of crisis without bias, a relationship with clarity and unshakable faith evolves.
A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
-Woody Allen (1935-?) American director, actor and comedian.
Have you struggled to rejuvenate your relationship lately?Do you have any ideas to share?Let’s begin the conversation.
(Photo courtesy: Marcel Miramendi)