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5 Simple Ways to find A Winner or Whiner

We all have heard the popular cliché,”separate the wheat from the chaff.” Although this cliché is for an act of determining what is important and what is not or what is good and what is bad, it can equally be effective to separate the winner from the whiner.

Let’s face it — our success in life — financially or otherwise — hinges heavily on the people we choose to surround with.

I’ve known many people from all walks of life. They have different ethnicity, religion and, of course, different culture. Nonetheless, I’d like to classify people into two groups: Whiners and Winners.

Whiners — who are financially fool — are enamored with jealousy of achievers; who dream fake dreams; who are hooked up on “cable-drug,” and are envy of celebrities; who are the slave to emotional instant gratification. They find everyone but themselves responsible for where they are in life financially.

Winners — whoa re financially wise — are those who understand their inner self. They’ve found purpose in their life, and they sacrifice the self-fulfilling pleasures of the moment in pursuit of financial peace and happiness

Obviously, I like to surround myself with winners.

With the focus on being associated with the winners, I’ve started watching people when I come in their contact to find if the person is a whiner or a winner.

1. A victim of circumstances OR a victor of circumstances.

Whiners blame their lack of achievement in life to their circumstances. “I am not fortunate to have success,” or “I always get bad luck,” or “Money makes money” are few rumblings that you hear from a whiner. Their mind is cluttered with thoughts of despair. They’ve lost the battle in their own mind before it began. I swiftly move on to salvage my sacred mind when I hear these words. Winners are victors in their own mind regardless of circumstances. They overcome any challenges with their will power, hard work and persistence.

2. They never act to avoid failure OR they never fail to achieve success.

When I began my career, I used to get exuberant while toying with new business ideas. In matter of days, I was losing mojo for those ideas that thrilled my spine just days ago. What happened ? I was fostering parallel thoughts of fear while dreaming to give fake comfort for the lack of desire and courage to take action. My mind was engaged in  “feel good” act of self sabotage. Soon, I realized that I had to change my thinking to change my life for the better. I was a whiner. The alchemy of my thoughts began to change my belief that to succeed, I shall never fail to act and let the universe provide courage to defeat my fear.

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
-Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British politician.

3. Are there lack of OR abundance of opportunities ?

I’ve had interesting conversation with few of my close friends in New Jersey few days ago. First friend had nothing but complaints about the world. “We’ve seen our best days,” or “I wanted to invest in rental properties, but it will be a while before I can take risk,” or “Stock market is about to crash with problems in Europe” and so forth. I suppose you get the cue. He is a whiner. Few minutes after I hung up, phone rang again. Hesitantly, I picked up the phone with all thoughts rushing my mind to avoid further destruction of my brain. To my relief, this was another friend who lived just few miles from the first caller. He called me to get advice on best ways to embark on his dream of real estate investment. “I believe that we can’t ask for any better time, Shilpan” he said. “Why ?,” I was still in chaos. “Interest rates are low and prices are historically low as well. What’s your opinion?” Now he turned my dead brain around. He certainly is a winner.

4. They hate failures OR they love failures.

This is a classic one. We all have fear of failure. This fear stems from the desire to be seen with respect in the eyes of others who have no interest whatsoever in our dreams. It’s a creature of self prophecy that harbors fake belief that to uplift our self-esteem, we shall never falter in our endeavors. Thomas Edison once said that success is 90% perseverance and 10% genius. He failed 1000 times before inventing an electric bulb. He would have quit long before trying 1000 times if he cared for what others may think of his failures. He was a winner. Do you know someone who has never failed? If so, you’ve found a whiner.

5. They are being managed by the time OR they manage their time.

Time truly has no value. I’ve heard from whiners that they do not have time for the exercise, or they do not have time to read or they do not have time to learn new skills. They forget that no one is selling time in free markets. It’s available in abundance as freely as air. What whiners complain about is their lack of focus and intention to allocate time for what they whine about. Have you ever had a call from a friend who went on and on about something so meaningless? If so, you’ve found a whiner. Winners  learn how to allocate time for important goals and remain vigilant about the usage of their time.

We all have heard Descartes’  famous quote,”I think, therefore I am.” Our thoughts are influenced by the company we keep. It’s never too late to remove whiners from your contact list and start adding winners instead. Do you agree?

The excess of our youth are checks written against our age and they are payable with interest thirty years later.
-Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832) British clergyman, sportsman and author.

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Comments (18)

well said.

it has taken me far too long to realize that nothing I can ever say will change a committed whiner. I have nothing to offer them and, importantly, I finally understand they have nothing to offer me.

JC, It’s true that if someone has programmed his or her subconscious to find every excuse in the book for not doing something or to blame others then no matter what you do or say won’t matter.

I think it’s hard to transition your thoughts into positive ones, but when it happens, it’s wonderful. If something bad happens, I always try to think of the bright side – the lesson learned, or the positive outcome. It can be hard to do sometimes but it pays off!

Daisy, you’ve hit the nail on the head with your way of reacting to a failure. Every failure stems seed of eventual success. It’s always a worthwhile experience to learn from our failure and cherish them.

Mindset and a positive attitude are so important.

In the moment I do detest failure, but reflecting on my life I realize that it is one of the primary things that have made me into the person I am today.

I’ve learned to view all roadblocks and challenges as a blessing. They allow me to learn, grow, and become a better person/investor/planner/etc.

Jason, I think you have achieved a great deal as it reflects in your writings at your site. I admire you for that.

I loved this post. I need to suppress the inner whiner within me from time to time.


All of us have a whiner within us. We just need to ignore that fellow! :)

Shamefully, I must confess that I used to be one of those annoying whiners many years ago. But, I realized later that the problem wasn’t with the things I kept complaining about. The problem was my attitude. Once I changed that, things started to turn around for the better. Whining is stupid. On the other hand, winning is a power that comes from being responsible and living with integrity.

Anthony, I like your candidness. Recognizing the change, and making change are the essential habits for anyone seeking constant personal growth. We all go through constant personal growth during our lifetime. Congratulations on your achievements.

I have found that I really cannot stand a whiner. Whenever they are near, I get the urge to go away and do something else. I have been trying really hard to become self aware and not whine anyone out. These are some great perspectives!

That’s smart thinking. It’s better to run away from whiners before they influence your thoughts negatively.

I used to be a whiner. I was always envious of those who had more than I. I came to accept that as a shortcoming and started my blog to be honest with my finances and come clean. Hopefully with the world seeing where we are I will get on the straight and narrow. Its all about psychology! I havent posted any net worths yet as my wife just got a job and we are trying to straighten things out at the moment. Soon though!

I like your candidness. There are so many who think that they’ve figured out how world works. Creating a fake layer of ego hurts the one who harbors that ego.

It def does hurt the one who harbors it, you are spot on with that. It is easier to be candid on here, if you see me in real life I may not be that honest about it. :-)

Most vices are bad for those who harbor them. Sooner you realize that fact, quicker you will be on the path of eternal happiness. :) Again, I applaud your candidness. What one can achieve by faking the reality to his own subconscious? — only misery.

If the people you surround with are holding you back, it is time to find new friends.

Nice post Shilpan!

MC, I can’t agree with you more. You are the company you keep.